Relative History

I think my mother was attempting to groom me towards greatness, in the hopes that I would get close by social standards of the day.

This is such a line of reasoning I appreciate! Why? Only because I have found a dry humor therein, after time.

Why would I appreciate the approach, were I not to compare it to the expected outcome? Outcomes foretold do not contain the unforeseen. There's more.

My mother endured a significant paradigm-shift within what is called The Women's Liberation Movement. She was of the "Baby Boom" – reference to an enormous generation, born after "The Greatest Generation". 

So, the Greatest Generation were my grandparents – all having borne witness to The Great Depression (it was always a mumbled undertone, "well, during the Depression..."). I was always reminded how good I have it, and why.

The Greatest Generation believed that in so having engaged, endured, and prevailed during The Second World 🌎 War, that no more wars would ever be fought again, that no one would dare. This was a widespread notion of why the continuation of struggle was necessary, after the war and since – the Complex, but I digress.

Yes, Hitler was evil. Of this I'm clear. There's no other way to put it. I'm also clear that US operatives in Germany could have taken him down at any time. The US probably saw Hirohito coming for a governmental mile away too, perhaps.

It was an economic strategy that allowed the US to enter the war directly. Foreseen and allowed, because War benefits manufacturing and certain huge corporate profits. Well, not all the profits are made by huge corporations; the local funeral businesses also benefited greatly. 

But, against foes too that our allies needed resources to vanquish.

The common narrative of this is different, like many things.

Let me just add that President Eisenhower was not only wise, but daring in so alerting the public of potential dangers of The Military-Industrial Complex. 

The Greatest Generation believed that, by unleashing the Atomic Bomb, there could never be war again.

Isn't that a nice concept? Seemingly doublethink looking at it plainly. How is mass obliteration going to deter a newly created industry with so much pecuniary value? Nothing stops the insipidity of nonstop greed. Nothing. 

I have a copy of The New York Times from VE Day. May 8, 1945. On the border, my great-grandmother wrote, "For my grandchildren".

Not even they were spared the ravages of a war-mongering system, inventing reasons to be involved in warfare all over the globe – since then (if not always), unto the present day.

It's hard to look at history to see that much of it is a pretense to actuality, nevertheless revealed. And revered.

More soon!

My Own Music History – Beginnings

I have the story I tell – the narrative, as it were, but there are strange and murky details intertwined, heretofore undisclosed. Untold beginnings, changes, and results.

Recordings:

My parents believed in me, appreciated me, as the poet and songwriter; they were scared for me, but supportive.

I performed in public for the public for the first time with Tom as the drummer, like I'd always dreamed. His influence was stronger than my parents' for some odd reason. Perhaps because he was genuine in stronger ways. We played for The International Club dinner in 1983. I played again in 1984, the same year as the first demo.

My first recording experience was solo, in late 1984. A man named AdZe MiXXe (RIP 1997), to me to be known in the future as "Astrologer Extorinaire". (more later)

I first thought Tabula Rasa would be a great band name just after I wrote a song of the same name. It was 1987. For a short time, I would jam out with these brothers who were both geniuses, each in their own way. The Luckowski brothers. Eric could wail Jimi Hendrix before he was 16. Steve was a keyboard mastermind. In my mind, I imagined the universe in our undertakings. Young adulthood took us all rapidly in different directions, suddenly – but always with fond memories. 

I would love it if any audiotape survived from that era – just to listen, not to publish. That stuff takes considerations we didn't have then.

There are a mere few who could still posess original audio recordings of mine that I myself lost posession of, albeit not but a few people and a few songs. I don't count errant recordings by fans. I mean master sound recordings on archaic media. 

Long before Bucketstomp™. But, I'm jumping ahead.

I may have another post somewhere about my otherwise adventures in choas that led to a strong season of my songwriting...

There were survival and bills to navigate through, then as always. Young adulthood came for me with quite a bit of responsibility. For a couple of years, I just worked. After my first brief, embarassing stint at college, I embarked upon the field of corporate restaurant management. My songwriting was something I still worked on, but had no idea what to do with. (Yes, I do not mind the informality of ending sentences with prepositions.)

An analog/tape cassette 4-track recorder cost $1000 in the late 1980s. I did not have that kind of disposable income, bills as they were. My guitar was very sad...a generic acoustic, very warped. I used to jokingly refer to that guitar as a cheese slicer; the strings were so far from the neck – especially on the higher frets – that one could slice a block of cheese on the strings. Upon a visit to the farmer's market, I saw a guitar someone was selling for $100. This was to be my first acoustic/electric guitar, the Kay. This was the beginning of 1990, the year my grandfather died.

Did I mention I wrote "Time To Go" for my Grandfather? That was February 1990.

It was in April 1990 that I met Chris McDonough. I was hanging out in West Chester (In PA — in the Southeast, one of the 11 boroughs of the Philadelphia metroplex) with my friend Tom. We used to go to this bar back then called Jitters. They used to do this thing called Mug Night, where one bought a mug for $1, and got $1 beers in the mug all night thereafter, and could bring the mug back the following week for $1 beers. At first their mugs were giant. Then they half-sized them before stopping the trend. It was usually packed with people. That's where I met a favorite local artist named Brendan McKinney, the Thursday night mainstay solo rocker at Jitters in those days. Tom said a friend of his - a guy named Dave – I'd met him before - lived across the street and that he wanted to stop over and say hello, so I went to randomly say hey too. Chris was this guy's roommate at the time. That's how we met.

Chris was a graduate student at the local university working on his Master's in Philosophy while managing a video store down the street. He also casually mentioned he had a degree in classical guitar. I casually mentioned that I wrote a song called "Tabula Rasa", which happens to be a philosophical tenet coined by 17th century philosopher, John Locke. This mildly piqued his interest. We left it open-ended that we'd get together and jam sometime.

Shortly after that, I brought my guitar, the Kay, over to his new apartment and I did a demo performance of top tunes I was working on at the time. While I very much admired his ability, he called my tunes "like Sesame Street". I remember having felt insulted by that and didn't fathom we would jam again. I remember I played for him "Time To Go", and "Planet Earth"...I forget the other one...perhaps "Father".

Tom became Chris' roommate shortly thereafter. A few months later, I rented the apartment across the hall from those guys. I would stop over after work and hang out with Tom here and there. Tom had excellent taste in music, so oftentimes we would listen to great albums, or watch music videos on VHS. His influence on me was great since we had been friends since young childhood. Tom was a drummer as well. Even back when I was taking piano lessons, Tom and I would jam out. We always loved singing, "Help" by The Beatles, and "Another Brick In The Wall, Part 2" by Pink Floyd. Lots of stuff.

One of those times I was over there, Chris came in and told me he had something worked out for "Time To Go", a riff. What he played was exactly what I envisioned for the song. We've been jamming together in one band incarnation or another off and on, ever since.

Of course among my inspirations all along the way, I credit Chris. He challenged me in every creative way, which changed the course of my music and my life.

My Own Music History #2

So...what went so wrong, so dark?

Who's to say the darkness hasn't reached everyone?

Once upon a time I told tales of how we were pioneers of a new era. Now that the new era has dawned, I still fear judgment — having been severely judged in my memory of how things were.

The Drug War has been the major unaddressed political war, shadowing all others, in the US, for over 50 years – at least in mainstream parlance. The real movenent began with temperance as political activism. That was unsustainable to the public at large and the greater welfare of a nation, to the extent of having to amend and re-amend the US Constitution.

I fathom the unfortunate turn of events in that era only served to persecute, demonize, and ultimately prosecute that which had been just fine before, and just fine after — were it not for the urgency to falsely pursue, demonize, perpetrate, and expand the thought process eventually into "drugs".

Does society crave false dichotomy? It's okay...as long as you don't get caught. Nowadays that thought process will not be assuaged by blatant disinformation. 

But back to my tale. I was a wanton mess after '94...only to have been incidentally and suddenly visited by this guy named Michael. I had not seen this man in 4 years. 

That guy is an underrated force of coolness of that entire era. 

He happened upon my doorstep just upon a single day after I lost my job, as I sat - scraping my paltry tray. In hospitality, I gladly scraped whatever I could as to situate a doober for this glorious reunion.

We had met before. As Tom, no doubt, has evidently underwriten my whole life, I'll point out that Tom introduced me to Carl and Michael in 1987- both housemates at the time...each with his particular penchant. More later, I hope. 

There was a guy named Adam, whom I met in high school, that was also involved during the time. Others who come into play.

Many of my friends turned to the darker side of drugs. Oh hey – I went along far darker than I dared, but could not ever bring myself to exist there but for a moment before needing to be away from the nature of the fiend mentality.

...but, I saw the results of not having been pulled in their directions...many were pulled to Seattle. Oh, for the wont of a messiah character. More on that..

So, Michael showed up that day with 4 friends and I had enough herb for one doober — then they were gone.

I had no herb, no money, and no job.

But...I had a passport! That became important shortly thereafter. More on that.

The next day, Michael visited me in the morning by himself. Thank goodness, because I was out of pot.

It was all a part of "our nefarious history" adventures that led to us being pioneers and political prisoners-of-war in the days of marijuana legalization. 

It was definitely a different West than the Old West.

Except when we shot our way out of a Mexican prison. Totally kidding. That didn't happen. 😁

More next time!

My Own Music History #1 - Memory

History is something I've been fascinated by since a young age. As a child, I was given encyclopedias to play with. What fun I had!

As the first child, and within circumstances created as strange yet portrayed as normal, I was inundated with early trauma. This endowed me with hyperthymesia which are instances of time recalled in episodic memory. For example, my first memories are of being a baby – and not foggy, partial remembrances, but moments in time I re-experience in vivid clarity.

What comedian recently came out with a similar "affliction"? I too memorized US Presidential history. My parents used me as a party favor from the age of 8. Right. And the Greatest Generation found me quite useful for crossword puzzles. I have a lot of stories about this. Maybe I'll have a chance to go into it.

My memories of events can be like re-living it all. I think of a moment of a time of life I experience, and I can place myself there mentally with a clarity that is disconcerting to others. To a degree, in transgressing the always-changing culural norms, this served to my benefit. I could relate on a multi-generational understanding that many my age, and since, just cannot.

It is, however, a curse. 

temporal displacement

 Sometimes my posts can serve as something of a diary, with the dates out of sequence. The same thing holds true about my studio releases. I had been a songwriter for decades prior to producing or releasing anything, with many songs written long ago that are now brand new.

Information is like that. Even if it's ancient history, it's brand new information upon its discovery. New information? Mostly that hindsight can lend greater perspective. The old adage "hindsight is 20/20" is not really true; because, some will pick apart the past unto false narratives.

Because people experience time in such a linear way, it's so very common to put boundaries within certain states of being. We exist societally in a certain way, unto a certain point, and then that moment passes unto the next. I know many people are beginning to question this way of being. Are stages or levels really appropriate in all circumstances?

Perhaps, as long as vastly differing levels of intelligences exist, this mustneeds be so. Not so, however, that human compassion should be so limited as to negate humanity's well-being on a larger scale -- nor limited by humans by way of algorithms and "all-the-buzz" of AI.

Be gentle, o' masters of the maths...and I mean those yet to come. Those now postulate upon a flash, indicating nothing. 

a consideration

Before

Addressing someone in jocularity

In terms that could be misconstrued

And therefore cause offense,

Consider first

That person's disposition.

© 2021 Jeffrey Robert Adams

All Rights Reserved

Wane #02

Beware

The individual who will hinder you

Due to self-fear.

It is low-minded, but far too common.

JRA

06/30/21

© 2020 Jeff Adams

All Rights Reserved

Wane #01

To deliberately push someone emotionally

In order to achieve your own results from doing so

Is an exercise in evil.

© 2020 Jeff Adams

All Rights Reserved

An Essay - From Horseshit to Atom-Split

 The era of the woke, the heightened political correctness...and the cancel culture? How do human beings collectively view information?

For me, the reasons concern attributes of our species which make me question everything about technology; not that anything in and of itself is intrinsically bad, per se. This sentiment will boil down to capability and potentiality. Human beings seem to be fairly base creatures still, wholly incapable of the technology we wield collectively. Really. My great-grandparents lived similarly to how the Amish live — born in a time before public utilities were even widespread. So, oil-lamps, candles, horses, wells, trash-burning, burning wood and coal, and outhouses were all normal parts of everyday life.

Speaking of narrative, there is this conspiratorial notion that something extra-terrestrial happened in New Mexico in 1947. The story goes in many different tangents depending on where you look, but it pertains to this collective idea that 1) advanced alien civilizations have visited earth; 2) an alien spacecraft, possibly occupied, crash-landed on Earth in New Mexico in 1947; 3) the controlling forces of our globe — whether governmental or corporate (or both) have reversed engineered this technology from said craft; 4) the controlling forces of our globe hide all of this from the rest of the population for profit.

I look at this with story with great curiosity, perhaps like many others in the last 75 years — except there are very strange attributes to this tale. Why does this narrative even exist? Why does it fascinate the public to the degree that many would argue this as factual?

Information is something more significant than is commonly realized. It influences relative time. If only small amounts of information are allowed to permeate collective consciousness, the collective fills in the blanks. I would surmise that this is a deliberate exercise by those who can control information. Like a dystopian Mad Libs, the blanks become filled with nonsense and suddenly all sorts of paranoid delusions are borne throughout time — viewed as fact. I can't go so far as to postulate this attribute as the beginnings of religion itself directly; however it is not beyond the realm of speculation.

The reason I bring up the Roswell postulation is not only as an example of what may be some sort of weird collective delusion, or perhaps that we only have a smattering of the information and the rest has been convoluted around it — but, also to serve as a point of inquiry in regards to our present state as a society on a planetary scale. Sometimes, information is given incorrectly on purpose in order to mislead. This can be done for economic, ideological, or philosophical purposes. 

For example, imagine that rather than an alien craft having crash landed in Roswell, NM in 1947 that, if there's any truth at all to any of it, it happened much earlier than that. Perhaps it is more reasonable to fathom that this happened in 1847 instead. This is something that I am addressing without researching every term about which I write. How could I? Yes, there is a lot of reference material, but look at what we're referencing. It is something that, as of this writing, has not been officially acknowledged as fact. If we look at the technological development of our species, for example, humanity has stayed amazingly consistent in primitive ways of living right up until the American Civil War. Granted, there were developments before that too that seem extremely pivotal — but not as frequent nor monumentally so as the succession of innovations surrounding the turn of the 20th century. If we think in terms of information, obviously the printing press was huge but had been around for centuries by the time of the Industrial Revolution. The steam engine and the telegraph really ushered in a time where information could be more greatly manipulated as bits of it could be released faster. History is written, oftentimes incorrectly, after the fact. This brought the level of narrative to a national scale — really the beginnings of a global scale. What was next? Human beings are dirty, ignorant, base creatures, but still capable of great imaginings. People can be fairly smart sometimes, in very small numbers. The cotton gin, the printing press, the steam engine...these are things that are not beyond reason to speculate — that humans had come up with this technology. Whether true or not, this is philosophical speculation based on commonly-known things, if any of it had bases to begin with. When we get to things like electricity in every home, the telegraph and the telephone...ok, also not beyond human intelligence perhaps. However, there was a lot more going on too. The photograph and phonograph too? Information could be sent instantaneously via telegraph, which really would have been the first internet structure. The automobile. Then telephone. Then radio. The technology for television was (publicly) realized during the Great Depression. If you listen to old-time radio broadcasts from that era, they discuss the excitement around this technology. It was not until the mid 1950s, however, that TV "sets" became widely available. Before this, television programming was scant too. But, it is the way technology is released. It is a manner that seems to be a scam at its core.

If someone were to have had digital technology in the 19th century, they could have made millions, right? Imagine if that technology were ripped apart schematically and released incrementally over hundreds of years. Imagine that there are more technologically advanced species involved in this process. There would have to be. Like Star Trek though, I would imagine a species with a space-faring technology to also have an advanced consciousness...and though that's the hope, I don't see this as being clearly so, unless our own consciousness itself is an advanced simulation.

Around the same time, we get the airplane. Holy Toledo. Then it takes off as if it were all a natural progression of human events. Does it seem like the natural progression of human events? Look at all of human history and development. There is something afoot about which we have incomplete information. This pertains to physics itself, I reckon — the controlling of a population unto a purpose. Human beings then go from being able to fly, right to the computer age — all information and innovation being released as slowly as possible to maximize profit in so doing...like going from records, to cassettes, to 8-tracks, to compact discs, for example.

It seems like humanity went from shoveling horse shit to splitting the atom.

It really looks like technology from an advanced civilization was dumped onto humanity without the benefit of humanity having any real advanced knowledge - nor knowledge throughout. There's advancement for the benefit of all humankind, only by virtue of trickle-down economics? These are not advanced ethics at all, except for the purposes of exploitation. "Divide and conquer" is not exactly a new tactic — yet one that people seem especially blind to en masse.

These ideas can be viewed from the basis of logic and reason as to what has been the collective capacity of humankind unto a point. Human understanding of time has undoubtedly been deliberately effected by manipulating information unto purposes of control.

past, present, or future?

It might soon be possible to transgress reality as we perceive it. Only then, will the tiny green men even begin to feel comfortable. 🙂

If you like that part, just wait! I have a bridge for sale in New York.

What?

 It occurs to me that there are people out there whom shall be very curious indeed as to the things I will share.

That's what I mean about living history. How will it be known as to the nuance lost, were it not uttered? And then we define our reality based on a chosen historical perception, while we catalog facts. The facts themselves are horrible; but, we as a species want to feel like we're moving forward no matter the cost. The cost is only calculated later. This is how it is and has been for all of humanity - always.

Individually, do we live any differently? Collective delusions inform us individually, but only as related to the social whole.

What do I mean by that? Am I saying everyone is deluded? Yes. How could I say that? Let me just give the most overt example. Let's imagine I have $10 in my pocket. What does that mean? This is a small piece of fancy paper that someone printed the number "10" upon. It has value in trade because we believe it does.

Irrespective, because of this belief, were one not to have that special numerical paper, one wouldn't be able to buy commodities that number is believed to be valid for in trade. On this simple basis, people live and die every day.

In the era of developing industry and beforehand, there was a different economic construct that made such a system more believable and therefore more sustainable. The value of gold and silver used to determine our economic realities - for thousands and thousands of years. The United States stopped making coins out of precious metal in 1964. If you find a dime, quarter, fifty-cent piece, or silver dollar minted before 1964, hold on to it! It's numerical attribution is much higher than its face-value.

Shit. Now I can't get my coffee because I misplaced my fancy green piece of paper. Whew! I found it. Now I'm worth something.

An Essay on Our Linear Selves

History is a funny thing. I've been keenly aware all of my life that we're all living within our own versions of a greater historical reality. That awareness, however, has not been bereft of delusion - whether imposed, at my own insistence, by society itself, or a combination of both.

But it's the world we live in, isn't it? Full of treachery, horror, and the dichotomy of extreme beauty and love, all at the same time. Perhaps this is analogous to our lives too: we are all beings of infinite capability, hampered by much, ultimately amounting to a commemorative stone if we're lucky. Perhaps too, this is all analogous to the nature of illusion.

The condition itself seems absurd with which to contend, from a logical sense. Within that realization lies it's own horror. How do we respond? Do we bow to the horror show, cowering in fear? No. We meander forth, cowering in fear in other ways - individually - as both introverts and extroverts.

Collectively, I think we deny our greater selves societally in lieu of selfish comforts and perceptions to our own detriment as a species, by design of controlled sociological evolution. Such conditions of society will evolve naturally, of course, the results of which are somewhat controlled.

We base so much value, attention, and energy on this society constructed on greed and accumulation. It has not really changed since time immemorial, this concept of self-entitlement. We have the capacity at this point in history, however, to take remarkable strides forward as a species. The best parts of humankind can be revealed, were they not held back by the imposed division of peoples on geo-political/socio-economic constructs.

It is said that we in society have lost a connection through being more connected than ever, ironically. We've lost social nuance. We've become more isolated and introverted, casting aspersions and labels upon others as if our own morality or even mental health were the paradigm upon which measurement should be based. We have lost what is called a "common myth". We have no believable destination as a society as a result of corruption and conspiracy - that which everyone knows about; some might be in varying degrees of denial about this, but most people even begrudgingly know that our perceived reality has changed. What is left is a shell holding together a framework on the basis of crumbling nostalgia. Shall it be chaos that ensues from such allowance? Is such chaos inevitable? And, my big question: Is it by design? (In my  mind, these are rhetorical questions.)